don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
