Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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