I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Nicole vs. Life
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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