Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
