Your face is a jimmy john
I wish i was in the wii world.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
