thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
