He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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