Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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