yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
