My balls are so social today.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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