apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
