just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
