The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
