For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
