I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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