Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize