this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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