You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
