just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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