I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
