Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
