You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
