I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
