called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
