ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
