Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The adults are the big ones right?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize