Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
her vagine was all disorganized.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
