i can't believe i had my finger in that
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
