I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize