this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
