If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think I am morally bankrupt
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
