Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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