I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
