I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
