Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
