today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
