do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just gift wrapped bread.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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