I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
