Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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