Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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