i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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