Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
