hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
