i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
