too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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