? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
