Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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