Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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