You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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