Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
