its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
