Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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