I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize