I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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