Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
