Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i've created a new STD.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
