come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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