I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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