haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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