He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
