he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
