well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
