I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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