Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
