david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
