Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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