I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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