she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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