Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize