he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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