Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
